I've mastered "Monster Creation 101," and am rapidly moving on to the intermediate levels.
Initial stepseses:
Introduce dog to family, observe and chortle with evil glee as wife, who swears she's not a dog person, becomes infatuated. Giggle as children also become infatuated. Ignore signs of own infatuation. Not possible - I'm an adult, and a rescuer, to boot - I'm above canine manipulation!
Yeah, right.
Moving right along to "Monster Creation 102, Optional Topics:"
Purchase a training lead. Oh, wait, I might need different lengths - Better get another one. Oh, and wait, what about a pretty lead for when I'm walking her someplace where I might want her to look 'pretty?' OK, fancy lead. And matching martingale, too. Gotta cover all bases! Oooh, and what about tags? I'll want to easily switch tags when I'm changing collars - Lets get a tag clip, too - a fancy one, so it'll go with the fancy lead & collar! Oh, and nifty little 'poop bag' dispenser, too! Can't just stuff bags in my pocket, oh no! That'd be gauche.
Me?! I'd never go over the top like that. T'cha!
Intermediate Monster Creation (200 level):
Carefully teach the non-obsessive, non-toy-focused BC to play with toys. Then introduce "tug-o-war." Then introduce "Fetch." Then add erratic bouncy-toys to Fetch. Last, wonder why the dog is standing at the door, bouncy toy in mouth?
I wonder if teaching the kids to play Fetch with Suka would move me to the advanced class, or does that fall under 'optional topics' at the intermediate level?
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3 comments:
That's the advanced class: getting someone ELSE to excersize your dog for you. Shades of Huck Finn and whitewashing the fence.Or was that Tom Sawyer?
And: Neener neener neener, you are dog-crazed! Hahahahahaha!
Ah, you evil, evil woman!
:-p
Worse, I find that as Suka's personality unfolds further, that I'm finding subtlties yet unexpected - I fear that one day, she's going to look at the sheep at The Farm, and suddenly drop into that famous BC crouch...
Yes, well, at least you live somehwere that you can't actually get sheep (nor do you need to, with your access to the farm)... so The Worst cannot actually happen to you.
Yet.
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