Monday, September 27, 2010

Suka does not like drunks

Downtown again, on a Saturday night (cue Sniff 'n' the Tears) with the girls. Kids over at my mother's, and my wife and I are out for a pleasant evening stroll. Now, for some reason, the college students were out in unusual numbers... And is was very drunk out that evening. I've rarely seen so many free-range drunks. Oh, I've seen plenty enough inside bars, even those bars which remove their streetside windows to let the heat and noise flow out. And some of the bars have fenced areas adjacent to the sidewalks where patrons can eat and get drunk and get rained on all at once, if they so choose, but those still qualify as caged. And some bars have both. No... I'm not talking about those drunks. I'm talking about drunks free and unfettered, wandering loose without brand, tag, or collar. Fortunately, they were happy drunks... (Large number of angry drunk students would not be my idea of a good time)

So we park in the usual off-street lot, and walk through the alleyway, and are confronted with large herds of happy, boisterous, loud students. Calling back and forth across and up and down the street, hooting, squealing, and generally sounding off, the 'herd' description is more appropriate than you may think. I've seen cattle drives less noisy. Oddly, the police, normally so evident, were nowhere to be seen. But it's OK - As noted, the crowds were in a good mood.

Now, Suka and Dakota are a highly noticable pair - And noticed they were. Almost immediately, a male voice bellows from across the street "that's a HUGE @#^#$& dog!" My head swivels, and I find the source - A group of kids hanging out on a second level balcony of an apartment - But why's he bellowing? Clearly, he's not talking to me - He's talking to his companions, though he's pointing more or less accurately at Dakota. Why is he bellowing at the folks right next to him? Ah - right. It's a 'loss of volume control' accident - One of the more common 'drunk casualties.'

OK, this is fine enough, I suppose... But then some well-basted (as in 'cooked to a fine turn') girl comes blundering across the street (God protects fools and drunks) and makes a beeline for Suka.
Suka detonates.
Drunk Girl barely seems to notice.
I'm desperately reeling Suka in and getting her behind me.
Drunk Girl pulls up to a swaying halt in front of me and blinks owlishly at me... "SHE'S SO PRETTY!"
Bacardi. I'm sure of it. BAC probably .06+ and she's maybe 19.

Meanwhile, Suka is in full-on "Kill the zombie" mode - I've only once or twice seen her lips roll like that, and her entire coat is standing on end, making her look about three times normal size. Dakota looks mildly perplexed, as does my wife. This is why when on Main Street, I handle Suka - Dakota is FAR less likely to confront than Suka is, and Suka needs a confident hand when she's out of her depth. Like now.

After a few minutes of running through the 'calm down and demonstrate control' routine, Suka stands down, and consents to retun to her job of sniffing everything in sight - Including Drunk Girl (Able to ignore threats near and far - It's like she's got a super power!), whom is still standing there gushing over how cute Suka is - With the volume cranked to 11. Yeah, another 'loss of volume control' casualty. My poor ears. Suka's poor ears! Well, and Dakota's, too. Then Suka high-marks this girl's leg, and loses interest in her. The girl utterly fails to notice, and wanders off, shouting at a passing herd of Hooting Boys.

That pretty much set the tenor of the evening. Suka regarding drunks with towering suspicion, Drunks randomly blundering across our paths, Dakota content to walk with my wife and look perplexed at the Silly Human Tricks, and me with my head on a swivel, watching that no one snuck up on us (not likely, considering, but still...). I know - Someone's going to ask why I didn't turn around and get the heck out of there. Well, I considered it a teachable experience. Suka, once she 'got' that I know how to handle the alcohol zombies, was gaining confidence and I was making sure she learned to cope with sodden humans. IOW, socialization.

2 comments:

Holly said...

I am so not-good with drunks. Good for you and Suka tho.....it was an opportunity to practice using you as her human shield.

MaskedMan said...

Heh! Human shield - Just so.

That's exactly how I want her to react - Warn me, then get to safety.