Shadow*, aka KittyFace, aka PricklyPaws, is failing fast.
She's gone downhill at a shocking rate, and this AM, I looked at her, and it was clear that her time has come. She can barely move, and is no longer bothering to groom herself - she can't even meow any longer - the best she can do is a horrible wheeze.
Yesterday, she could meow, and complain about wanting fresh water after Suka drank from her bowl (she's always been a bit of a prima donna about her fresh water), and whilst terribly wasted, was still vital. Today, this morning - She's a mess. Wasted, bedraggled, unable to care for herself, unable to move more than a couple inches, and pitiable.
I've called the vet. Today is her last day. I'm in tears.
Edit:
Shadow has been with us through two births, two states, three homes, and, collectively, seven jobs. My children have never know a world without her.
The vet found a huge mass around one of her kidneys, and the other kidney was undetectably small. Her quality of life had become essentially nil.
It's done. She's over the bridge now.
*Sorry there are no images. Shadow lived to her name - so velvety-black and fuzzy that you could not get a good image of her - not even autofocus helped - she was a nebulous black cloud, moving silently through the house, until she suddenly fetched up on your chest, purring and drooling on you.
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11 comments:
*sucks in breath sharply*
I am so sorry! This hurts, no matter if it's time, if you know it's the right thing or if there is nothing else to do, even if it's simply a long life well lived.
Godspeed Shadow
She's on her way.
I'll never again wake up to her slight weight perched on my chest, kneeding her paws into my beard. I'll never again hear Jenn complain that Shadow was walking on her with her claws extended - Yet again.
Thank you, Holly.
I am so sorry for your loss but it sounds like she had a very nice long life with you! It seems she waited as long as she could to spend as much time here on earth with your family.
Hey, Bro. I am so, so sorry to hear this. I know how big-hearted you are, and I can only imagine your sorrow right now... but I am right there with you.
One of the many things I admire about you is your ability to really SEE your animals - not just what they look like on the outside, but what they look like in their hearts. Your pets all have these big, clear personalities, no matter how tiny or subtle they might be physically... and part of the reason for that is that you invite them out. You don't impose YOUR personality on theml; you coax them to bring forth THEIR personality, and provide it not just room for expression, but encouragement of it.
One of the consequences of that is that your animals live full lives with you. One of the other consequences, unfortunately, is that it hurts more to lose them; they are real friends, not just animate toys or extensions of ego.
I hope that the knowledge of consequence one - that you provided Shadow the opportunity for a life fully lived - helps assuages the effects of consequence two - that you miss her dearly.
Take care, my brother, my friend. I'm thinking of you. Hang in.
Thank you Beth. I only wish she could've been here longer - Her brother, pushy thing that he is, is in robust good health. Would that she shared that aspect of his life. :(
Shadow was always on the scrawny side. She was the most fierce hunter of the crew, but also the most gentle. Shadow is the one who crawled up and settled down, nose-to-nose, with you. Her brother, and Max, too, are more inclined to strut up and DEMAND some love. Shadow would simply make herself available, and take what she got - Which was a lot.
AKDD, You humble me. I've never much thought about the way I see my pets - My friends - I just treat them as seems fitting. Each is their own self, and it would be the height of silliness to treat Max as I would Tux or Suka, or as I would've Shadow; Each is given their due. It never occured to me that there was any other way.
Thank you.
Today is better. Lin was crushed, but she pitched in with me to help dig Shadow's grave - deep into rock-hard Delaware clay - in the pouring rain. Terribly cliche, but fitting. She scattered some dried roses she had over the pitiful little casket-box, and helped me fill the hole back in. We covered the spot with paving stones so we'll never lose it to grass or failing memories.
"we'll never lose it to grass or failing memories."
and for those who might come after...to wonder, "what is so precious here, that they (whoever *they* might be), wanted to remember this spot?
Just so.
Awww...so sorry about the loss of beautiful Shadow. I lost my own cat over 11 years ago to kidney failure. So sad for you and your family.
~Lisa
Thank you. We let them into our hearts; when they go, they take a piece of it with them.
This post broke my heart. You did an amazing write up of the day. I could feel your emotion, see your cat failing--all very touching.
What a loving person you are. Your cat was very lucky.
Hugs.
Yet I can't help but feel that I failed her - I should've seen sooner that she was failing. I allowed her to do her usual aloof act too much - I should've been checking her body for signs of ill health more regularly.
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